Marie-Josèphe dite Angélique

Welcome to Boss Bitches of History, the new series from Wisecrack. Dedicated to celebrating emboldened women throughout the ages who bucked the system and boldly faced the sexist hegemony of their time.

The show is created, written and hosted by Sovereign Syre and Ela Darling – two entertainers who defy contemporary standards of American intellectualism and feminism.

Sovereign Syre studied poetry and creative non-fiction at the prestigious master’s program founded by poet laureates Philip Levine and Juan Felipe Herrera.

Ela Darling earned her master’s in Library Science from the University of Illinois at Urbana–Champaign, the top Library Science program in the country.

Created, Written & Hosted by: Ela Darling & Sovereign Syre
Illustrated by: J.R. Fleming
Produced and Directed by: Jared Bauer
Edited by: Ryan Hailey
Edits by: Tyler Rice & Lindsay Golder
Producer & Additional Artwork by: Jacob Salamon
Production Design by: Chris Pearson
Music: “Joe Godsil” by The Gretchens

Marie-Josèphe dite Angélique

Few things were worse than being a black woman caught up in the 18th century slave trade. But Marie- Joseph dite Angelique didn’t just take it. She gave zero fucks burned down half of Montreal revenge. Holy shit.

Marie-Joseph dite Angelique- Well that was her slave name anyway… was born in Portugal in 1700. She had several owners before she eventually landed in Montreal. Back in the day Montreal was like the Wall Street of the New World. The beaver fur trade – not that beaver. The nocturnal semi-aquatic rodent fur trade was bump’in. A pound of fur was worth more than a pound of gold and people were getting nasty rich.

Angelique was owned by a dude named Francheville who was like the Gordon Gekko of Montreal. Francheville established the only iron forge in the New World giving him a straight up monopoly on the materials needed to make just about everything.

Angelique’s situation didn’t get dicey till Francheville kicked it. Angelique was left to Francheville’s widow, this bitty named Thérèse de Couagne.

She needed some help around the house and took on an indentured white boy named Claude. Angelique and Claude-the-hot-bod got into some hot interracial action and fell in love.

Therese got all obsessed with her husband’s bulging estate and took off to take care of business for a few weeks. Angelique and Claude saw this as an opportunity to peace out of Montreal and be free in New England. But it was cold as balls that winter and they didn’t get far before they were captured and sent back to Montreal.

Therese acted like she was all cool with what went down – and only Claude landed in jail. But Therese was pulling some two faced high school drama, and planned to sell Angelique to a friend.

Being sold brought with it the very real possibility of ending up on an island plantation.

Back then the Caribbean wasn’t a place to get white girl wasted on rum shots.

The plantations were hard labor and slaves usually died within a year.

When Angelique heard she was going to be sold, she refused to let it go down like that. She waited for Claude to be released and then they decided to go down in flames together– literally.

They went pyro on Therese’s ass like a Norwegian metal band burned down half of Montreal. How fucking metal?

Before anyone knew it the hospital and 45 homes were destroyed. It was complete chaos with everyone terrified and looting rampant like it was free blizzard day at Dairy Queen. In all that madness, the lovers were separated. Claude managed to escape but Angelique was caught and put on trial, which you know was super fair.

A court of all white douche bags convicted Angelique without a scrap of evidence. They believed she didn’t act alone and went full Guantanamo to force Angelique into giving up her accomplices. She immediately confessed, but was a ride or die bitch and never ratted out her man. Angelique was hanged but not before she left her brand on Montreal.

Angelique had zero power over her own life, but she was determined not to go down without taking half the city with her. To this day, a lowly slave from Portugal is remembered for shaping the history of one of the oldest cities in the New World. That’s a boss bitch.

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